I haven't felt very calm lately. I'm out of remission and frustrated as ever. But I need to keep being positive. This too shall pass. It always does. I just need to figure out what the upset is about. I'm the meantime, I'm so blessed. I was doing a liquid/tea cleanse today. I was hungry but super scared to eat with how sick I've been getting eating ANYTHING! At 10:00 tonight my husband got home and I was being a brat. I get super mean when I'm hungry. Anorexia and I never would have clicked. But I was just sitting there pouting and crying and he was trying to "fix" whatever he had done. (Hahaha...about that. Does he ever do anything seriously wrong? No.) and I was just being mean and angry and not knowing why. I told him I'd had MAYBE 400 calories tops all day cause I was scared to eat. 3 minutes later, we were in his car headed to the store. He bought me all the things I'm generally too cheap to buy myself. I'm so...here come the tears...so grateful I have a loving supportive husband who is ALWAYS forgiving of my rampant health experiments. Cause really, today wasn't a good idea, and now he's conversing like normal...if I were as mean to me as I was as mean to him...I would still be mad. But he's patient and understanding and even though he doesn't always express his love like I want it expressed...he does one hell of a job expressing it with everything he has. :) I sometimes think my disease goes out of remission just to remind ME just HOW MUCH he does love me. (As if a brand new car wasn't enough;) )
Again, I'm so blessed.